I had my physical yesterday and physically I am fine but my doctor could see that I still needed something emotionally so back to counseling I go. I know he is right and appreciated his insight. I have come so far since the first day I went to him for help with depression & anxiety from the separation from my husband about 18 months ago/final divorce in 6 months ago. I confessed my few "down" weekends to him I've had this fall. He said you made it through a very difficult time admirably but you still have to get back to being a whole person and enjoy some happiness rather than sadness. I thought about that and remembered a lesson in my Bible study [Breaking Free by Beth Moore] ..."Healing begins when we recognize how vulnerable those empty places make us, tally the cost of filling them with useless things, and seek wholeness in Christ alone. Wholeness in Christ is that state of being when every hole has been filled by Christ. The damage cannot be undone. It must be healed. The holes can't be taken away, but they can be filled. As you look at satisfaction in Christ, our goal is to see satisfaction at its greatest beauty. We want to see a picture of a satisfied person fully displaying God's splendor."
ISAIAH 58 paints the portrait perfectly...
Isaiah 58:6-12 (The Message)
6-9"This is the kind of fast day I'm after:
to break the chains of injustice,
get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
free the oppressed,
cancel debts.
What I'm interested in seeing you do is:
sharing your food with the hungry,
inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
being available to your own families.
Do this and the lights will turn on,
and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.'
A Full Life in the Emptiest of Places
9-12"If you get rid of unfair practices,
quit blaming victims,
quit gossiping about other people's sins,
If you are generous with the hungry
and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out,
Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness,
your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.
I will always show you where to go.
I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places—
firm muscles, strong bones.
You'll be like a well-watered garden,
a gurgling spring that never runs dry.
You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew,
rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
You'll be known as those who can fix anything,
restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate,
make the community livable again.
I don't think I have come close to being as low as these verses portray, but the analogies are similar. I was in a dark place in my marriage and emotionally full of holes. Through the toughest of times in the last two years, God poured his love into those holes to bring me up far enough to accept faith, family & friends to help me get through the phases I had to face. So today I can be proud that the holes are at least half full...I am building a new life for me and continue to enjoy my greatest gift...motherhood. By selling the house and paying debts, I have a more manageable life. Comfort beyond that is going to take time/patience, and continued strength. I have faith that my wholeness will return and I will find overall happiness again one day. The damage cannot be undone. It must be healed. The holes can't be taken away, but they can be filled.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
Come to me...
Quoted Devotion From My Utmost to His Highest
Coming to Jesus
Oct 08 2010
Come to Me . . . Matthew 11:28-30 — "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Isn’t it humiliating to be told that we must come to Jesus! Think of the things about which we will not come to Jesus Christ. If you want to know how real you are, test yourself by these words— “Come to Me . . . .” In every dimension in which you are not real, you will argue or evade the issue altogether rather than come; you will go through sorrow rather than come; and you will do anything rather than come the last lap of the race of seemingly unspeakable foolishness and say, “Just as I am, I come.” As long as you have even the least bit of spiritual disrespect, it will always reveal itself in the fact that you are expecting God to tell you to do something very big, and yet all He is telling you to do is to “Come . . . .”
“Come to Me . . . .” When you hear those words, you will know that something must happen in you before you can come. The Holy Spirit will show you what you have to do, and it will involve anything that will uproot whatever is preventing you from getting through to Jesus. And you will never get any further until you are willing to do that very thing. The Holy Spirit will search out that one immovable stronghold within you, but He cannot budge it unless you are willing to let Him do so.
How often have you come to God with your requests and gone away thinking, “I’ve really received what I wanted this time!” And yet you go away with nothing, while all the time God has stood with His hands outstretched not only to take you but also for you to take Him. Just think of the invincible, unconquerable, and untiring patience of Jesus, who lovingly says, “Come to Me. . . .”
____________________________________________________________________________________
When I read this devotional today, all I could think about were the people in my life that I have been praying for to “Come to Jesus,” wishing they had the courage to “cross the line,” or just accept Him/Jesus and the rest would follow. It sounds simple, but I know addiction is powerful and it can have a hold on a person for years or even a lifetime, I have seen it first hand. I wanted to share it with them but would it just be like all the other messages I have passed on to them? Note the sentence that talks about something YOU have to do, NOT us, but that person, has to UPROOT whatever is preventing them from getting to HIM.
I think that is one of the hardest things for all of us, the family members or friends of the alcoholic to understand, how can it be more important than a marriage, family, friendship or faith? How can the alcoholic want the disease to hold them when people who love them are willing to do so and God has his arms outstretched waiting for them to Come? I look at it as the addiction having a hold on the person and they can’t break free to find what is in them or reality or Jesus until they totally accept Him and the power of what He can do. They want to keep evading, staying sad, live the unmanageable life because that is easier and less painful. It may be less painful for the them but not for us, the ones that watch them let it destroy so much. Why can’t they see, that is the beauty of our Lord, He is ready for us to come any time.
There is no way I would have ever made it through my life without coming to Him and resting in His strong arms from time to time, especially these past two years. My Bible study this past year described those who want this from God, clinging to His legs like our kids did when they were young…my friend and me as mothers loved this! God is there waiting to pull us in whether we take a simple step forward or we grab hold of Him and cling tightly. The hard part is that movement to do so, simply…Come to Him.
My eyes welled with tears at the beautiful thought of God with his hands outstretched to take in my brother, the father of my children, my dad, or friends with the disease. I think they have all felt God’s presence or his arms reaching out to them and many of them have taken a step or two toward Him but I continue to pray that one day they simply Come.
Coming to Jesus
Oct 08 2010
Come to Me . . . Matthew 11:28-30 — "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Isn’t it humiliating to be told that we must come to Jesus! Think of the things about which we will not come to Jesus Christ. If you want to know how real you are, test yourself by these words— “Come to Me . . . .” In every dimension in which you are not real, you will argue or evade the issue altogether rather than come; you will go through sorrow rather than come; and you will do anything rather than come the last lap of the race of seemingly unspeakable foolishness and say, “Just as I am, I come.” As long as you have even the least bit of spiritual disrespect, it will always reveal itself in the fact that you are expecting God to tell you to do something very big, and yet all He is telling you to do is to “Come . . . .”
“Come to Me . . . .” When you hear those words, you will know that something must happen in you before you can come. The Holy Spirit will show you what you have to do, and it will involve anything that will uproot whatever is preventing you from getting through to Jesus. And you will never get any further until you are willing to do that very thing. The Holy Spirit will search out that one immovable stronghold within you, but He cannot budge it unless you are willing to let Him do so.
How often have you come to God with your requests and gone away thinking, “I’ve really received what I wanted this time!” And yet you go away with nothing, while all the time God has stood with His hands outstretched not only to take you but also for you to take Him. Just think of the invincible, unconquerable, and untiring patience of Jesus, who lovingly says, “Come to Me. . . .”
____________________________________________________________________________________
When I read this devotional today, all I could think about were the people in my life that I have been praying for to “Come to Jesus,” wishing they had the courage to “cross the line,” or just accept Him/Jesus and the rest would follow. It sounds simple, but I know addiction is powerful and it can have a hold on a person for years or even a lifetime, I have seen it first hand. I wanted to share it with them but would it just be like all the other messages I have passed on to them? Note the sentence that talks about something YOU have to do, NOT us, but that person, has to UPROOT whatever is preventing them from getting to HIM.
I think that is one of the hardest things for all of us, the family members or friends of the alcoholic to understand, how can it be more important than a marriage, family, friendship or faith? How can the alcoholic want the disease to hold them when people who love them are willing to do so and God has his arms outstretched waiting for them to Come? I look at it as the addiction having a hold on the person and they can’t break free to find what is in them or reality or Jesus until they totally accept Him and the power of what He can do. They want to keep evading, staying sad, live the unmanageable life because that is easier and less painful. It may be less painful for the them but not for us, the ones that watch them let it destroy so much. Why can’t they see, that is the beauty of our Lord, He is ready for us to come any time.
There is no way I would have ever made it through my life without coming to Him and resting in His strong arms from time to time, especially these past two years. My Bible study this past year described those who want this from God, clinging to His legs like our kids did when they were young…my friend and me as mothers loved this! God is there waiting to pull us in whether we take a simple step forward or we grab hold of Him and cling tightly. The hard part is that movement to do so, simply…Come to Him.
My eyes welled with tears at the beautiful thought of God with his hands outstretched to take in my brother, the father of my children, my dad, or friends with the disease. I think they have all felt God’s presence or his arms reaching out to them and many of them have taken a step or two toward Him but I continue to pray that one day they simply Come.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Strength & Weakness
My big STRONG oldest son turns 19 this month and it makes me think of my strengths and weaknesses of his birthdays past. One year ago I was in the middle of a separation and divorce. I was weak and struggling to find strength to take care of all I had on my plate, not to mention weak from the worry and uncertainty of the future. Two years ago, it was this same birthday that I decided to trust the GRACE of GOD and take a stand in my marriage. I was weak and scared but found the strength in this passage from Daily Word. I AM UPHELD & STRENGTHENED BY THE GRACE OF GOD THROUGHOUT TIMES OF DEALING WITH BOTH EVERYDAY MATTERS & MAJOR DIFFICULTIES. I RISE UP & MOVE FORWARD, SUPPORTED FULLY BY THE GRACE OF GOD."
The timing of the changes in our family life were in part due to my own sons and their strengths. The youngest with his realism on how little time his dad spent at home, the middle with his quiet understanding of the bigger picture-where the time away was spent, and the the oldest with his maturity in helping me realize how truly weak I had become. I can now reflect and see what weakened me...alcoholism in my marriage and our home. I can see that the GRACE of GOD was supporting me, that weakness turned to strength because of my amazing sons and all the family & friends who also supported us in numerous ways. So yes once again, GRATITUDE!
There was a reason God put these BIG STRONG young men in my life. My weakness made me receptive to feed on their strengths. From Daily Word ... RECEPTIVE...I OPEN MY HEART TO THE LOVE OF GOD. MY HEART IS A SANCTUARY OF GOD'S LOVE, A PLACE OF PEACE AND STRENGTH I CAN ENTER AT ANY TIME. I GO WITHIN, AND I RELEASE THOUGHTS THAT MIGHT BE TROUBLING ME, I ALLOW THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF GOD TO FILL, RENEW, AND GUIDE ME."MY HEART EXULTS IN THE LORD; MY STRENGTH IS EXALTED IN MY GOD.1 SAMUEL 2:1 9 (Note which book of the Bible!)
The timing of the changes in our family life were in part due to my own sons and their strengths. The youngest with his realism on how little time his dad spent at home, the middle with his quiet understanding of the bigger picture-where the time away was spent, and the the oldest with his maturity in helping me realize how truly weak I had become. I can now reflect and see what weakened me...alcoholism in my marriage and our home. I can see that the GRACE of GOD was supporting me, that weakness turned to strength because of my amazing sons and all the family & friends who also supported us in numerous ways. So yes once again, GRATITUDE!
There was a reason God put these BIG STRONG young men in my life. My weakness made me receptive to feed on their strengths. From Daily Word ... RECEPTIVE...I OPEN MY HEART TO THE LOVE OF GOD. MY HEART IS A SANCTUARY OF GOD'S LOVE, A PLACE OF PEACE AND STRENGTH I CAN ENTER AT ANY TIME. I GO WITHIN, AND I RELEASE THOUGHTS THAT MIGHT BE TROUBLING ME, I ALLOW THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF GOD TO FILL, RENEW, AND GUIDE ME."MY HEART EXULTS IN THE LORD; MY STRENGTH IS EXALTED IN MY GOD.1 SAMUEL 2:1 9 (Note which book of the Bible!)
Saturday, October 2, 2010
I LOVE FALL!
10-2-10
Today I took a walk in our neighborhood and thought about how much I love FALL...I saw kids playing outside in Halloween costumes, couples working in their yards together, dogs enjoying walks with their owners. It made me miss my little boys, our dog, my family home and our yard full of trees and fallen leaves, and of course the family we used to be. But maybe GOD created seasons to help us adapt to change. Change is part of life, children grow, relationships end, but a a season always brings us something new.
GRACE is defined in Scripture as something that teaches us how to live! I thought about that as I shared an evening with a new group of parents hosting a pre-dance picture session and driving their freshmen to the Homecoming dance. The change of season is like a stage of life...one son completed high school, now the next son begins and with that comes newness once again.
I may have physically lost a house and yard and even piles of leaves, but I still have my family, just a changed form of it. I can always have GRATITUDE for that and the time with other parents wanting to do the same as me...teach our children GRACE or how to live!
To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones,
and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.
Today I took a walk in our neighborhood and thought about how much I love FALL...I saw kids playing outside in Halloween costumes, couples working in their yards together, dogs enjoying walks with their owners. It made me miss my little boys, our dog, my family home and our yard full of trees and fallen leaves, and of course the family we used to be. But maybe GOD created seasons to help us adapt to change. Change is part of life, children grow, relationships end, but a a season always brings us something new.
GRACE is defined in Scripture as something that teaches us how to live! I thought about that as I shared an evening with a new group of parents hosting a pre-dance picture session and driving their freshmen to the Homecoming dance. The change of season is like a stage of life...one son completed high school, now the next son begins and with that comes newness once again.
I may have physically lost a house and yard and even piles of leaves, but I still have my family, just a changed form of it. I can always have GRATITUDE for that and the time with other parents wanting to do the same as me...teach our children GRACE or how to live!
To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones,
and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
God * Grace * Gratitude
Personal blog of Cindy S. (3cysonsmom@gmail.com)
I have been feeling like I need something else to help me continue to heal from all the changes in my life. I have wanted to write more. Someone at work gave me this cute little note pad with the words above “God * Grace * Gratitude” and it has inspired me to start my own blog based on those three things. A friend of mine has a BLOG and her writing is amazing. Here goes…
10-1-10
GOD has always been in my life. But the past two years have given me assurance in my faith in Him and His guidance back has been amazing. I continue to pray that others find what I have, it truly is a GIFT.
GRACE is also a GIFT. I want to lead a life filled with it and teach my kids to do the same. I want live in reality to be truthful and sincere. Reality can be difficult, but I truly feel facing it has brought me GRACE.
GRATITUDE is bulging out of my heart to many family and friends who have and continue to help me cope, heal and manage all the changes in our lives. The generosity shown to my sons and me has been another incredible GIFT. With GRATITUDE for my three amazing sons and all we share, I am able to keep moving forward.
"The GRACE of God blesses and fulfills me." Daily Word
"Know that I am with you and will keep you wherever you go.-Genesis 28:15
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