Seeing Clearly

August 13, 2011

Thought for the day – THE SERENITY PRAYER – “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

I read The Glass Castle at the recommendation of my sister. It was powerful and moving and familiar, fortunately not to the extremes in the book. I have talked so much of the “NONREALTY” in my life before separation and divorce and how I couldn’t live it any more. It made me realize the majority of my father’s life has been that lived by that concept…”someday I will build that glass castle or someday things will be better.” It reaffirmed to me that I couldn’t wait for my husband of 21 years to change, he didn’t want to do so, so I had to…for me and my sons…for our emotional, financial and family future.

The book was a great portrayal of how alcoholics perceive their lives (through the glass castle that will never be) and what family members do to either cope or break free from that way of life. Some spouses or other family members choose to live or stay in the insanity and keep their relationships with the alcoholic no matter what the cost. Some don’t. I believe that is why not only does Alcoholics Anonymous teach alcoholics to live by the Serenity Prayer, but Alanon also teaches others the same concept. We as the family members of the alcoholics – have to decide what is best for us. Do we have the courage to change what is within our power? Do we have the strength to face reality at all costs and move on? The alcoholics live their lives for themselves first…why shouldn’t we? I understand it is a personal choice and should be and what is right for one person may not be for another.

I know now that all I have gone through in my entire life related to alcoholism, generations of it, I couldn’t hold out for the glass castle, I had to see clearly and rebuild myself and my life with something REAL…keep working hard to raise my sons as responsibly as I can. My reality is in my trust in God and in my faith, family and friends and the future of my sons.

Dear God, I continue to pray for my Dad, my brother, and the man I loved for nearly 25 years. I pray for all my family who has had to cope with alcoholism in their lifetime. I pray the generation of my sons can see beyond the glass castle and build strong lives of REALITY.

“You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy.” –Psalm 16:11