WHOLENESS

I had my physical yesterday and physically I am fine but my doctor could see that I still needed something emotionally so back to counseling I go. I know he is right and appreciated his insight. I have come so far since the first day I went to him for help with depression & anxiety from the separation from my husband about 18 months ago/final divorce in 6 months ago. I confessed my few "down" weekends to him I've had this fall. He said you made it through a very difficult time admirably but you still have to get back to being a whole person and enjoy some happiness rather than sadness. I thought about that and remembered a lesson in my Bible study [Breaking Free by Beth Moore] ..."Healing begins when we recognize how vulnerable those empty places make us, tally the cost of filling them with useless things, and seek wholeness in Christ alone. Wholeness in Christ is that state of being when every hole has been filled by Christ. The damage cannot be undone. It must be healed. The holes can't be taken away, but they can be filled. As you look at satisfaction in Christ, our goal is to see satisfaction at its greatest beauty. We want to see a picture of a satisfied person fully displaying God's splendor."

ISAIAH 58 paints the portrait perfectly...
Isaiah 58:6-12 (The Message)

6-9"This is the kind of fast day I'm after:
to break the chains of injustice,
get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
free the oppressed,
cancel debts.
What I'm interested in seeing you do is:
sharing your food with the hungry,
inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
being available to your own families.
Do this and the lights will turn on,
and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
The God of glory will secure your passage.
Then when you pray, God will answer.
You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.'
A Full Life in the Emptiest of Places
9-12"If you get rid of unfair practices,
quit blaming victims,
quit gossiping about other people's sins,
If you are generous with the hungry
and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out,
Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness,
your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.
I will always show you where to go.
I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places—
firm muscles, strong bones.
You'll be like a well-watered garden,
a gurgling spring that never runs dry.
You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew,
rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
You'll be known as those who can fix anything,
restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate,
make the community livable again.

I don't think I have come close to being as low as these verses portray, but the analogies are similar. I was in a dark place in my marriage and emotionally full of holes. Through the toughest of times in the last two years, God poured his love into those holes to bring me up far enough to accept faith, family & friends to help me get through the phases I had to face. So today I can be proud that the holes are at least half full...I am building a new life for me and continue to enjoy my greatest gift...motherhood. By selling the house and paying debts, I have a more manageable life. Comfort beyond that is going to take time/patience, and continued strength. I have faith that my wholeness will return and I will find overall happiness again one day. The damage cannot be undone. It must be healed. The holes can't be taken away, but they can be filled.