Love is Patient and Kind

December 5, 2010 - I watched a family in church today with envy. It is something I always wanted but never had – my family in church together often. For all of us to attend together, it had to be a special occasion or holiday. I watched the father/husband of this particular family today, stand up and let his entire family go first ahead of him for Communion. I thought about how symbolic that was … to put your family first. Love is patient and kind. I remember the verse from 1st Corinthians being read in my wedding long ago. But then I also remember the last Christmas Eve service before my husband and I separated and later divorced. He walked in to join us at church and didn’t even come sit by HIS own family but instead he attended HIS way by sitting next to my brother-in-law at the opposite end of the pew. I am not resentful now but I was at the time as I was so unhappy with the way we were living.

But by now, two years later, I realize how much facing the truth by dealing with all the problems and finding solutions was my way to build a new way of life, a way to rejoice. I had to get back to happiness within myself and there was no way to do so living as that split family under the same roof. As a married couple, we were irritable because we weren’t sharing a marriage or our family at home, let alone together in church. Once that unhappiness started to affect our kids, I knew I had to step up to the reality, I had to hope and believe in what I set out to do next, as hard as it was to do so. My sons and I represented the family and the dad/father of our home walked the other way and chose HIS way of life so many times. It isn’t that it was always wrong doing, or then again, is it? When you marry, shouldn’t it be about that patient and kind love of ALL things…bearing, believing, hoping, and enduring? But it takes two people to share that way of life in a happy marriage. My patience had worn out due to the effects of his alcoholism.

There were still small acts of kindness and even love, but it was no longer enough. One of my biggest hopes in bringing me and our family home to happiness again is that I am teaching my sons that love, marriage, and family is about tranquility and a sense of togetherness. I hope they are learning that you have to give of yourself in a relationship to get something in return. I hope that our time in church together, and even more so the faith I have brought to our family, helps them become young men who will be like that husband and father in church today, putting family first.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7